Splattered-Splattered. Go ahead bite the Big Apple, don't mind the maggots.
Posted by diehipster at 12/24/2007 12:32 PM and is filed under uncategorized 
Must you hipsters.........
.........prove to the rest of us that you've been working on your next MoMa exhibit? Do you have to wear your battle scarred clothing into the public to make us aware of your creativity? Can you not keep one set of "work" clothes to do your "work" in? Do you have to wear shoes in your overpriced apartments while you paint? Is there anything you do that doesn't have to stand out amongst us bland natives?
I can see it now, you got through a day of "work" without getting a drop on you, but then, WHOOPS!!! You accidentally manage to get a nice natural diagonal splattering across your chest, and UH-OH!, a nice glob of Burnt Sienna on your knee, and then OH SHIT!, a drizzling of Titanium White on your black Chuck Taylors.(Ohhh the contrast!)
Now you can safely walk to the latte store, the vintage store, the L, G, J, M, Z and F trains, knowing that every one of your counterparts in the street that scan you for coolness will see the paint and accept you. Or the idiots that work 9-5 for a paycheck will say "Wow, there goes a real artist, haven't seen one of those in a long time!"
I wish Bob Ross were still alive to paint a happy little Bedford Avenue scene. I can see him now.
" Now then, I'll paint a happy little Thai Restaurant right here... whoops, they already closed down, where's my turpentine? Now then, I'll put a happy little indie music hipster right here walking out of the N 7th St train station. Oh what the heck, I'll give him some thick framed glasses. Now then, I'll paint a skinny, filthy looking guy reading a book while he skateboards down the avenue. Hope you enjoyed todays show and learned a little something, thank you, Merry Christmas and God Bless"
No shit: Bob Ross is dead?
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