Rental Alert! Rental Alert!
Thanks to plasticmelancholy@xxxxx.com for e-mailing me this rental alert from Craigslist.
248 McKibbin St loft bedroom
Reply to: hous-616087926@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-03-23, 6:34PM
1 bedroom available in loft building with roof access. the building is huge. one block from L train morgan stop, 3 from montrose. bodega on street, coffee shop in apt building. 15 to union sq. totally safe neighborhood. bedroom has one wall that is all windows. apt is small, 3 people live here now, we are looking to fill the 4th bedroom. we dont have parties due to the size of the apt, we also dont have people over much for the same reason. preferably looking for someone who isn't home alot. we are all nice and easy going, 2 guys one girl. we are looking for a non-dramatic person, doesnt listen to techno. huguenots will receive preferential treatment. require one months rent and one mo. sec dep to move in. want someone by april 1st. we dont watch tv. we don't have any of the hepatitis's. we do eat meat. we don't like the neighbors across the street who play loud techno music. doing drugs is ok, but having people over who do drugs is not. we all go to bed around 12 or 1 and wake up between 7 and 9. we VERY much prefer someone who does not need to shower before 10:00 am. That may be the most important thing, to not shower before 10:00 am.
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Ok, lets break this pathetic hipster posting down. I've made the keywords in bold:
loft building- what else would the hip starving artist live in?
roof access- a place you might go if mommy or daddy don't send you any more money or, to see an indie rooftop film
L train- c'mon MTA, just change it to the H train already.
coffee shop- a place to sit in for hours with a mac or obscure book to look cool
union sq- the hipster cut off between northern and southern Manhattan. hipster do not go north of it.
we dont have parties- but we sure attend a lot of them
someone who isn't home a lot- that sure will make the potential renter feel all warm and cozy
non-dramatic- but what if im a performance artist? there is a 33% chance that i am
techno- ok, i wont use my 18" speakers, what if i contain it to my i-pod headphones and lock myself in my room?
huguenots- you mean you guys are also French Calvinists of the 16th or 17th centuries like I am???
we dont watch tv- like totally man, TV = bad Rooftop indie films = good
don't have hepatitis's- well what do you have?
do eat meat- thanks for letting me know, this is definitely something us hipsters have to know before we spend time with each other
doing drugs ok but not with others- hey i totally understand, you worked hard for your coke, meth and shrooms. no mooching allowed
go to sleep at 1am and wake up at 9am- ahhhhh don't we have the life? don't we?
no showering before 10am- dude, like showering is so 20th century, how else do you think I get my hair to look like this?
Central booking sounds more inviting. And it's free. I can't imagine paying equal rent to 3 other people but being subjected to these kinds of rules. The most important thing do not shower before 10? do not eat meat? do not play certain types of music? who are these people the fuckin taliban?
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You you guys gotta check out the hipster report on you tube. It's fucking hilarious.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=qKkexG7XQi8
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Is this shit real?
God, hipsters make me furious. What about the REAL ARTISTS that dress quirky because they have to? Fuck Urban Outfitters and American Apparel, I go to the thrift store because it's cheap as hell, and if I could afford mainstream stores (like GAP), I'd be there!
Tell those hipster douchebags that looking poor is not about being hip, it's about actually being poor.
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Good Lord, you know that "eat meat" probably means that they went upstate and bought and named a pig. If you are a hipster "locavore" you have to "know the animal" that you'll eat six months later at your ironic 4th of July barbecue(just like back home).
See you all at Death Cab for Cutie!
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How about a site called dierealtor.com because realtors are the real guilty ones who created the Shitster epidemic.
As I said before, I could live with the trucker hats and the Pabst but putting up real estate prices makes me want to go Charlie Manson on these shitheads. This beyatch will be first in line if Charlie strikes again.
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For real I'm not an "anything", if anything, I'm employed and I work. Something Alfonso might want to try out so he can shop at the GAP.
I "Stumbled" (firefox feature) and noticed the loft detail. I live in a loft so I can walk rather than drive to places, not to be "green" but to get comfortably faded at bars with no worries of driving.
So what is the point of this shit? Are you all building a commune to bitch about a trend of twenty somethings? Are these kids getting along easier than you? I'm not going to give you the better "grand perspective" of other shit going on in the world, and if you all want to sit around and TYPE shit about "trust-afarians" and kids that wear self proclaiming tshirts go for it...
Honestly though gentleman, you seem like you're all resurrecting an older trend, losers. I'm not trying to start a flame war, because I'll never be here again, but seriously this is just stupid. You all sound like bitter little bitches writing down your "analytical" opinions on a note pad as the dreaded "hipsters" are going on doing what they do, the way they do it, while you just watch. That's a loser, because losers pay attention to other people and their choice of lifestyle or trend with no personal resolve of their own. Lastly, how many of you have even been to New York? Whatever, doesn't matter, once again don't bother replying to me, but of course gripe amongst yourselves and try to be clever with lame little one liners. However, thanks to this site one of you little haters is going to turn a little bit and get over this ridiculous waste of time, you too editor.
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Oh c'mon Josh..I mean, Mace, don't front. Of course you're commin back here to see who replied to you. Guess what...you are a defensive douche. Why you tryin to justify your fabu-loft to a bunch of pissed off losers anyways? WTF, you sound like some ugly-scumbag-Jersey-fuckface-gentrifier who just moved to a hip neighborhood with his first raise. I guess displacing all those working-class people to make way for your "faded" lifestyle got to you. FUCK YOU.
Love, Taffey Dollar
PS I hope you get hit by a cab or get a really bad STD. Why don't you go play with the plastic polar bears.
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Die Loftboy. You live in a loft so you can walk rather than drive to places and get confortably "faded" with "no worries" of driving? That's dead on hipster talk you fucking little cocksucking douche. Now go conquer Bushwick you fucking poseur.
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I wonder why they went out of their way to announce that nobody in the pad...er...sorry...
I mean LOFT has "hep tight tits" ?
Hipster = "I'm busy working on my externals"
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