Intercepted Father's Day Call from a Hipster
Posted by diehipster at 6/15/2008 6:33 PM and is filed under uncategorized 
Josh: <ring ring>
Dad: Hello?
Josh: Hey Dad, Happy Father's Day
Dad: Why thank you son! So how's New York Josh?
Josh: It's super, Dad. This girl I met knows this other girl from Michigan who knows this guy
from Ohio who has a cousin from Minnesota who might be able to sign my band on to this
indie label. I'll tell you, its a tough living. I'm roughing it Dad.
Dad: Joshy! That's great news! I'm sorry I doubted your artistic ability and didn't think you'd
fit in New York City.
Josh: No worries Dad. Like I said, Happy Father's Day.
Dad: Aw, Joshy. I'll tell you what tiger. I'm going to send you another years rent tomorrow.
How does that sound, my future rock star? Goooooooo Brooklyn!
Josh: Ok great Dad! See you on Thanksgiving!
Someone explain this to me:
WHAT THE FUCK ARE THE PARENTS THINKING???
Are typical hipster parents a stockbroker dad and a bimbo mom with no sense?
I mean, why would you not put some kind of common sense into your kids?
Why don't you let little Joshie and Meggie go out and work when in high school and learn to manage money?
Why don't you teach them about investing their cash wisely?
Why don't you encourage them to learn a skill or a trade instead of wasting 4-5 years doing some worthless Liberal Arts degree?
And Why do you pay grown up kids $4000/month to live some faux bohemia in Brooklyn instead of putting it towards their pension funds?
What will happen to your little darlings when Daddy loses his shirt on the stock market?
What skills will they have to survive the big bad World out there?
Don't worry. One of these days I shall return to the USA (I'm working in Europe making EUROS). I will go into the first Mickey D's where I will seek out the first ex-hipster and I will order the most complex, unintelligible order, like you shitheads do in Starfucks, and make you get me everything on the list. Then I will change my mind all the time and bitch and moan. I will fumble for correct change and demand Amaretto in my coffee. I will arrange for my cellphone to ring while ordering and make you wait while I chat with my girlfriend.. and .. and .. and ..
Just to make you little shits suffer.
Oh, and I'll be paying $10,000/month rent (about 3 euros by then) while you are on the street experiencing real Bohemia.
And I can't stand Mickey D's.
Reply to this
sounds like a great dad.
Reply to this
http://nymag.com/fashion/lookbook/47520/
Prime Example
Reply to this
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/chronicle/archive/2005/09/08/BAmousie08.DTL
Here's more hipsters of the future.
So sad it's hilarious.
Reply to this
The real tragedy of the situation is that the country is populated by too many of these vapid self absorbed assholes.
Spin these fucks around and they're totally lost.
Reply to this
This whole anti-Ohio thing is fine. When I lived in Detroit we made fun of Ohioans too. The state is a wasteland. But before you start getting crazy - there are a lot of people from Michigan, myself included, who have a lot more brooklyn street cred than you do and who would kick your ass to the curb in a heartbeat in any neighborhood in Brooklyn. So watch your back Nativist - I'm from Detroit and we don't play around. Stick to the trust fund angle - no one likes Boergoise nor'easterners that couldn't make it in Vermont moving to Williamsburg either. Follow?
Reply to this
If you've got so much street cred, how come you're on a blog and not on the street kicking ass?
Reply to this
Probably had a fight with some Puerto Rican girls on the block now he's scared to leave the house.
Reply to this
You're calling Ohio a wasteland? I'd take a look at your broke-ass state and city before I talked to much about someone elses.
Reply to this
"kick your ass to the curb" ....wtf? Are you a Michigan tough guy or a jilted baby's mama? Maybe your brooklyn street cred works for your friends back home but you sound like a douche to me. Michigan, Ohio....who gives a fuck, you're all the same....and we just want you to go back home Josh......follow?
Reply to this
And who gives a fuck about Brooklyn? What is supposed to be so impressive about that? Nobody cares.
"BQevil"... that sounds pretty hipster-ish to me.
Reply to this
Everyone in the 313 put your mother fucking hands up. Seriously what suburb of Detroit are you from?
Reply to this
What's a "Boergoise?" They don't have schools in Detroit? You're about as dumb as the hipsters.
Reply to this
Hahahaha, look out for Paul, the semi-literate Keyboard Warrior!
Reply to this
How the fuck can anyone in Detroit make fun of people from Ohio? Fix your broke-ass state then try to make fun of someone else.
Reply to this
We don't like Trustfund Long Islanders coming to Albany either, but at least there from NY. You people make fun of us saying were not New Yorkers even though our ghettos are rougher then most places in NYC now.
Besides, I am from the Bronx originally and work for the state. I got to New York every other week and usually go to Brooklyn to hang with my old friends from UAlbany. I hate it when I meet some douchebag Hipsters from Cali telling me I am not from NY.
Last time I checked my birth certificate says North Bronx hospital and my license says New York State. Sorry for having the brains to live somewhere affordable. At least Albant is in NY and the people are more NY then any Hipster.
Paulie
Reply to this
Wow, that's amazing! You happen to have been born in New York and you're still there? Wow. Damn, that's interesting. Woot! Random geographical locations!
Reply to this
I have to admit, I kind of like Columbus Ohio. Cleveland was a dump though as was Cincinatti. Detroit is the crappiest place I have ever seen in my life, its like the white (and black) trash capital of the world.
Reply to this
CELTICS KICKED YOUR ASS DETROIT!!!
Reply to this
The NBA is for dweebs!
Reply to this
Columbus, OH is a kick ass city!
Reply to this
Semi-literate huh, at least I have a name. Please tell me how I am semi-literate. Like anyone I make a typo here and there due to writing in haste. I don't see how this implies that I am some uneducated fool.
Reply to this
Hahahah, why don't you ask the "Boergoise?"
Hey, shouldn't you be out there rockin' all that "street cred" of yours, kickin' 'em to the curb? Are you taking that act on the road, perhaps on Maury?
Reply to this
is the intent of this post humor? if so, mark = missed.
Reply to this
Going to post here before that pro-hipster does.
1.Trey, stop copying and pasting the same thing ad nauseum, it's annoying.
2.Ok, I will admit hipsters are not the sole cause of gentrification. Of course, everything is NOT because of one cause. There are more variables involved in the universe. Also, there is a difference between yuppie gentrification, and hipster artist gentrification.
In the bay area, housing is expensive, therefore REGULAR MIDDLE CLASS JOE WHO WANTS TO GET A HOUSE cannot afford a house in san francisco because it's expensive to live in a richer area like the bay area. He might not be hip like a hipster or yuppie, but ends up gentrifying the neighborhood because of his education. In this case, because the bay area was THE place to go to get a job in the dot com business, everyone from everywhere wanted to go here, the weather is always good, it's a nice place in general. Because of the demand, prices for housing went up. Ok, this is not an example of hipster gentrification, but the prices were raised as a result of the economy happening here. I really can't blame some yuppies because of the situation in the bay area. Could they just live in some suburb in the bay area like say Alameda instead of gentrifying another neighborhood? Yeah, but thanks to San Francisco traffic, expensive suburban housing, and the fact that the BART (bay area version of the subway) sucks, waking up at 4 am to get to work at 8 am sucks.
Then you have hipsters. Many come from the midwest where it's way cheaper to get housing there, or maybe they are from the area but have an affinity for the counter culture. These are the biggest dipshits there are. They hate how people are sheeple, yet they are the biggest sheep there are. They are part of a punk band, and hate other punks because they aren't real working class, yet they are middle class themselves. They call themselves artists, but they draw stuff that five year olds make and call it art. They engage in heavy intellectualism, but all they know are a bunch of fancy words. They love minorities, but they can quite possibly be driving minorities out of their neighborhood. They love drugs, and hate the government's war against drugs, and btw, love peace and the environment. They buy their drugs from gangs, and since drugs aren't legal and aren't regulated, farms that grow coke and weed are ruining the environment they grow on since they aren't being regulated. They pretend thay're poor, yet they are educated. That's why people hate hipsters.
Also, basic logic says that you cannot conclude that ALL people who hate hipsters are meat head homohphobes, and though there were comments like that here, you cannot say ALL people who hate hipsters are like that. You call people who hate hipsters against social change. That's not true. Maybe a lot of us meet many women/men and are attractive. You just can't make a conclusion here bro.
Reply to this
The last time I looked; we were still in America; where anyone or anybody can relocate to any state he or she desires without any type of explanation to anyone!!! Don’t let these mother fv
The last time I looked; we were still in America; where anyone or anybody can relocate to any state he or she desires without any type of explanation to anyone!!! Don’t let these mother fv
the last time I looked; we were still in America; where anyone or anybody can relocate to any state he or she desires without any type of explanation to anyone!!! I, myself being a native NYer have witness NYC become a better place to reside in during the last five (5) yrs due to incoming people from all over the USA & abroad. It has also made NYC the safest city in America. All new comers to the city; don't pay no mind to these nayser's. there trying to give all of you a guilt trip for relocating to NYC. the nayser's want to continue the same B/Sh!t status Quo (e.g., welfare, section 8, rental assistance plus, keep people locked in poverty) so elected officials can stay in their paid positions & continue to give out free handouts(low rents) for people in their low-income districts in return for their votes @ election time! So in a way...you, so-called "hipsters"; are a big threat to their existence. Don't believe all the hype about displacement of so-called "long time" residents. it's the biggest con game going! the roaches & water bugs all see the writing on the wall; they know their con game is almost up. there trying to fight you tooth & nail on these blogs on how newcomers (Hipsters) are destroying the life of NYC; don't fall for any of those lies & tricks; years ago NYC was full of crime, gang infested, dirty & basically broke with half the population on welfare. that's the NYC of yrs ago. yes...rents are going up; just like everything else in life. now the lowlife's have to move or start working in real jobs. again, this is "America" where the people have the freedom of movement to anywhere they choose w/out a guilt trip!!! Future so-called "Hipsters", you are welcome with open arms to NYC anytime.
Reply to this
New York became a safer city over fifteen years ago when Rudy was mayor, after that it was safe enough for all your jerkoff hipsters to come here and enjoy your frat party style life. New York is now turning into a vanilla midwestern disneyland city. Anything that was hip, on the edge or artistic is being replaced by you talentless racist midwestern middleclass brats. Thank you for your blatantly racists post.
Reply to this
STFU you Uncle Tom Asshole. You are a disgrace to your race.
Reply to this
Anon; you are a disgrace to all the ameoba-like slime you obviously represent.
IamHip; you don't seem very bright. What is with your nonsense about the Midwest? You don't have plenty of racists in your oh-so-lofty New York?
Reply to this
The ignorant anti-hipster ranters on here would like to have you believe that their hated of hipsters is based on the perception that hipsters are responsible for gentrification and rent increases. The idea that hipsters are solely responsible for gentrification is already highly debatable. Intelligent discourse would tell you that the root causes of gentrification are multi-factorial, and include greedy developers and landlords, our capitalistic economic system, as well as whoever might moving into a gentrifying neighborhood to feed into the system...hipster or not. In fact, gentrification also takes place in neighborhoods that don't have a high hipster populations at all. An example of this would be the expansion of Columbia University into "Manhattanville" in West Harlem (http://lawprofessors.typepad.com/property/2006/05/columbias_manha.html). Clearly there is more to gentrification than just hipsters alone. Anti-hipster sentiment based on gentrification is not only misplaced and misguided, but is really a manifestation of deeper psychological issues.
What does this all really mean? Anti-hipster sentiment is really based on a resentment of people who have healthier and more fulfilling social lives. Judging from their comments, a lot of anti-hipster sentiment evidently comes from "tough guy" non-intellectual homophobic macho types who feel that the more sensitive, intelligent, physically slimmer, and culturally aware hipster ideal threatens their insecure sense of masculinity. At some point in their lives they probably got mocked and ridiculed, or even had beer poured all over their heads, by some downtown girl with a tattoo (aka "hipster") after trying to pull some lame move on them. If you think about it, in some ways the entire hipster revolution came about to mock and ridicule such people and their mentalities. It's not about meat and muscle anymore. Anti-hipster sentiment often comes from people who simply can't keep up with social change and are envious of those who can. Remember...you can always rate the amount of insecurity someone has by the amount they rant about hipsters.
Reply to this
OK. I asked this question before but you were too stupid to answer so I ask again:
NAME ONE INVENTION INVENTED BY A HIPSTER!!!
It must be actually something people use.
The following don't count:
"Art". Nothing scribbled on a canvas, paper, wall or other surface.
"Music". No bands don't count. Nor does banging paint cans in the Subway.
Fashion.
Websites.
Videos.
Performance Art (idiotarod and similar pointless displays of idiocy)
Sports Wiffleball, kickball etc.
Only something truly original that is not retro or ironic. Something not influenced by any previous decade. Something totally new and different that I can't compare it with anything from a previous decade and finally, something that is actually of some use to others, whether they are hipsters or not.
Can you think of anything which makes ALL these rules Parasucko?
Reply to this
It's irrelevant whether hipsters truly re-invented certain elements of culture and style, or if they're just cultural consumers and social leeches like others would retort. It's simply the new reality.
Like it or not, the modern hipster movement is here to stay. Deal with it. It was something that was started over 15 years ago by creative types in Williamsburg and has spread into the mainstream. In a sense, the hipsters have won as they have successfully "hipsterized" modern life and modern attitude. Have a look around. Elements of hipster fashion and hipster sensibilities are everywhere.
What does this all really mean? Anti-hipster sentiment is really based on a resentment of people who have healthier and more fulfilling social lives. Judging from their comments, a lot of anti-hipster sentiment evidently comes from "tough guy" non-intellectual homophobic macho types who feel that the more sensitive, intelligent, physically slimmer, and culturally aware hipster ideal threatens their insecure sense of masculinity. At some point in their lives they probably got mocked and ridiculed, or even had beer poured all over their heads, by some downtown girl with a tattoo (aka "hipster") after trying to pull some lame move on them. If you think about it, in some ways the entire hipster revolution came about to mock and ridicule such people and their mentalities. It's not about meat and muscle anymore. Anti-hipster sentiment often comes from people who simply can't keep up with social change and are envious of those who can. Remember...you can always rate the amount of insecurity someone has by the amount they rant about hipsters.
Reply to this
How are these members of the "hipster ideal" more intelligent? By reciting hipster-approved, ironic buzzwords to fit in with all their friends?
Reply to this
I said list one invention, not paste your moronic troll. Jesus, at least come up with an original thought once in a while.
Oh sorry. I forgot. You're a Hipster.
Original thought is like soooo not cool!
I will take that to mean
HIPSTERS INVENTED NOTHING!
Reply to this
Hey Hipsterminator,
Don't worry. He "knows" that we "know" how useless he and all his hipster robots are. He knows that his cut and paste gets more and more meaningless with every paste. He "thinks" it's getting to us or making us change our thoughts on hipsters. What a little douche.
Reply to this
I guess you didn't get it through your thick skull the first time. It's irrelevant whether hipsters truly re-invented certain elements of culture and style, or if they're just cultural consumers and social leeches like others would retort. It's simply the new reality.
Remember...you can always rate the amount of insecurity someone has by the amount they rant about hipsters.
Reply to this
Do you have original thoughts, or can you only cut and paste?
Reply to this
Simple cut and paste comments are enough to refute whatever dim-witted meatheads say about hipsters. There's no need to write anything new. These comments are for people who are new to this board...so they understand what it's REALLY about. It is understood that any intelligent and logical discourse on hipsterism will never change the neanderthal-like minds of anti-hipster ranters who are set in their ways. I'm not here to think for people who can't think.
Intelligent and socially well-adjusted people in NYC know by now that anti-hipster sentiment is really based on a resentment of people who have healthier and more fulfilling social lives. Remember...you can always rate the amount of insecurity someone has by the amount they rant about hipsters.
Reply to this
And what can one infer from the amount of times something is cut and pasted?
So, you hipsters are the height of intellectualism? That's funny, every hipster I've ever observed does nothing but spout random,whiny-voiced, vacuous drivel.
Insofar as you not being here to "think for people who can't think", you've just described the hipster ethos: groupthink. Staunch individualism as long as everyone else is doing it.
Reply to this
When did alcoholism & drug addiction become healthier and more social fulfilling? Take the frat-boy lifestyle back to Michigan State.
Reply to this
Anti-hipsters are pissed because the rise of hipster culture represents the death of machisimo and macho culture.
Reply to this
Hipster culture is so last week. Besides it's hip not to be hip.
Reply to this
Go suck some more dick.
Reply to this
Here we go again. Your typical idiot anti-hipster comment. Is that all you have to offer? Intelligent and socially well-adjusted people in NYC know by now that anti-hipster sentiment is really based on a resentment of people who have healthier and more fulfilling social lives. Remember...you can always rate the amount of insecurity someone has by the amount they rant about hipsters.
Reply to this
Do you hold up your "cut and paste" sign everytime some "macho meathead" is kicking your boney ass?
You belong in Boston with the other fags.
Reply to this
"Fag" is all you got? Here we go again. Your typical idiot anti-hipster comment. Intelligent and socially well-adjusted people in NYC know by now that anti-hipster sentiment is really based on a resentment of people who have healthier and more fulfilling social lives. Remember...you can always rate the amount of insecurity someone has by the amount they rant about hipsters.
Reply to this
Splain to me what a healthier and more fulfilling social life is.
P.S.
Thanks for the cut n' paste.
Remember...you can always rate the amount of insecurity someone has by the amount they rant (cut n' paste) about non-hipsters.
Reply to this
Get mugged yet fag?
Get another beating lately?
You're about due.
Reply to this
To the Cut-and-Past bandit; It appears we've seen the apex of your "intellectualism." Go sharpen your pixelated crayons and come back with something new.
Reply to this
Simple cut and paste comments are enough to refute whatever dim-witted meatheads say about hipsters. There's no need to write anything new. These comments are for people who are new to this board...so they understand what it's REALLY about. It is understood that any intelligent and logical discourse on hipsterism will never change the neanderthal-like minds of anti-hipster ranters who are set in their ways. I'm not here to think for people who can't think.
Intelligent and socially well-adjusted people in NYC know by now that anti-hipster sentiment is really based on a resentment of people who have healthier and more fulfilling social lives. Remember...you can always rate the amount of insecurity someone has by the amount they rant about hipsters.
Reply to this
Remember...you can always rate the amount of insecurity someone has by the amount they rant about (cut n' paste) anti-hipsters.
Reply to this