Oh man, there are so many hipsterisms to point out in this Craigslist Rental Posting that I'm not even going to try. You'll see them as you read. However I would like to say... Why the fuck would anyone have so many rules and regulations, so many do's and dont's and still choose to live with 5 people in an apartment for $1100 a month per person??? It makes no sense at all. I'll tell you why. It's the fascination the transplant has with Bedford Ave and Williamsburg. They'll do anything to say they live there. They feel that having an address in North Brooklyn will enhance their creativity. Notice how the person who wrote this tries so hard to mask the fact that he himself is a hipster. Sorry Tristan, can't fool me.



BIG ROOM IN GIANT LOFT!!! Bedford & N3rd!!
Reply to: hous-652603865@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-04-22, 9:23PM

Room Available May 1st.
$1100. N.3/Bedford, Williamsburg Bk.
Upon move in $1100 for security & first month rent.

About the Apartment:
Our home is a about a 1200sq ft loft that has been converted into a 5 bedroom Wonder World. All the rooms are approximately the same size and shape. That being about 12ft by 10ft. The ceilings are very high and perfect for a loft bed or some sort of overhead compartment. None of the bedrooms have a window except for one, which is the room for rent – The window is huge and can be opened to let that fresh summer breeze off the East River in. There is also a large back wall of windows that faces Metropolitan that is pretty awesome.
The building has the best roof in New York City. There are multiple levels and areas to get a summer BBQ going, lay out and tan, chat on the phone, or meet a neighbor. I must say we have actually even camped out there. There is also an amazing view of the Manhattan skyline. The building has four entrances and exits. One on Bedford (Above pharmacy, vintage store, and Bagel Store), 2 on N. 3 and one on N. 4 (by San Loco). The apartment building is full of units and many neighbors to meet and greet. Some are cool, some are not, some want to be cool, some are fun, some are attractive, and some are douche bag kids that we forbid in our home. There is one bathroom and one kitchen that we all collectively work at keeping clean, neat, organized and pretty. The front living room is designed for a communal vibe, and the occasional friend to entertain, have dinner, read a book, and check your myspace. The back room is an ever-changing office arrangement. The apartment is heated in the winter and air conditioned in the summer. There is a nice 24 hour laundry mat directly below the one flight walk up apartment. We are working on getting wireless Internet, that will be already included in your rent.
The rent is paid by check or money order only to the landlord. The rent is collected in an envelope - sealed and all five checks are delivered in one package to the landlord by the 5th of the month. NO IF ANDS OR BUTS. Failure to meet rent by the 5th of the month 2 times will cause handing you a check with your deposit and a swift kick in the ass out of our home. We do not play games when it comes to bills.

About Your Roommates:
We are 3 straight guys approaching mid twenties; 2 are DJ’s, 1 is a student. We are social people that laugh and have fun together very often. We are always polite and respectful to each other. We are out going and always leave our personal issues away from the communal vibe of the house. We communicate very well and always respectfully discuss our likes and dislikes about the apartments and each other involving the apartment. We all have busy lives and often need a creative quiet work vibes in the house. We all have personal lives that involve the opposite sex; we spend as much time out of the house with our respected ladies as we do in the house. We try to maintain noise late hours in the night out of respect for each other. We are friends. We occasionally have house guests, parents over, business meetings and dinners. Being that we realize we live with 5 people we try to keep out of each others way at times.

About You:
You are fucking awesome. You are the housemate anyone would want. You have conversations with your housemates as well as have your own personal life out side of us. You laugh at jokes, have a great sense of humor but are not fake, flakey, full of shit, or pretend. You already know how great the neighborhood is and have friends you see all the time around the way. You are a girl or guy with a great sense of personal care. You make nasty in the bathroom you light incense. You make mac n’ cheese you do the dishes and maybe even the single cup the person before you left behind. You have a passion for something creative that you honestly peruse. You don’t say you are a writer, you have 6 chapters done and working on number 7. You don’t say you are a painter, you have awesome art that your housemates love to see and talk about. You are open to new ideas, music, people, foods, and art. You don’t have any pets. You don’t have some dependant boyfriend or girlfriend that is always sitting on our couch and eating my cereal. You are trustworthy, respectful, honest, and neat. At least neat in common areas. You shower, wear deodorant, brush your teeth, do laundry and even bust out the broom and murder some dust bunnies. You are not a couch potato.
You have a handful of awesome friends that are respectful and nice to your housemates also. Your friends don’t come over to often and they and you ask if someone can sleep on the couch. You do not use drugs. You do not lie and say you don’t drugs then actually do. Trust me we will find out if you do. I repeat you do not have some sketchy delivery guy dropping off little white bags of death at 6 in the morning at my home with a few asshole friends. You do occasionally smoke some greens and share with your roommates. Occasionally not excessively. You are not whiney. You are not gossipy. Your are not a slut, you are not a douche bag. You work a job or two. You have a job with perks we can all use. You pay attention to sound and alarms. Your are over all CONSIDERATE ABOUT THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU. You do not smoke cigarettes in our home. You use apple computers and read vice magazine. You are not too old, you are not too young. You are not a drama king or drama queen. You are not an asshole.
And you think this apartment sounds like the best place for you.

Inquiries:
Send us a link to your myspace or facebook so we can get a better idea about your personality.

Wow. There's a lot of anger and disgust out there towards the transplanted dirtbags. Just read the Craigs List rants below.



Attention Hipsters
Reply to: pers-651309441@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-04-21, 10:30PM

The next time you find yourself poring over Neutral Milk Hotel bootlegs at the local record shop, or pretending to be into the latest psych/avant/free-folk/what-the-fuck-ever outfit to crop up, whilst ironically drinking PBR's, wearing skinny jeans and dingy white v-necks (neckerchief optional), meticulously maintaining the perfect level of scruff on your neckbeard, and name dropping bands that no one has heard of (for good reason), please keep in mind that you are a plight on society, with your pretentious,condescending attitudes and pseudo-intellectual ways. Please leave the once vibrant ethnic neighborhoods you destroyed with your faux dive bars and galleries that house feeble attmepts at true art, and jump into the east river like the lemmings you are.

Reply to: pers-649375649@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-04-20, 1:37PM EDT


Hipsters come in two types. The dirty scumbags and the overdressed. They are generally spoiled brats and fall into three categories. One is the trust funder. The other is the hard working artist who pays too much of their earnings toward rent to live in a hip area. The last is a combination of both. The latter is the most common. There's this myth that trust funders have an endless supply of cash at their disposal. Couldn't be further from the truth. The truth is they go through that cash fast and most of them will end up back home in Idaho working at the local farm. Those who make it through the initial splurge fest realize how tough it can be to live in the big city with the big costs. I can't tell you how many of these pricks I have come across and how many new ones take their place. It's like army ants. They come in to NY drive up prices only to be a victim of their own making and go back to the midwest or wherever they come from. The life span of a hipster is usually 3 years. Sadly someone always take their place. God I hate these fucking spoiled little rats who only care about how they look and who they hang out with.